The Art of Co-Sleeping (Safely) September 14, 2013

Co-Sleeping/Bed-Sharing

What Parents Need To Know

  Although not a common practise in North American society, co-sleeping and/or bed-sharing is a typical and often expected way for new moms to bond and nurture their infants.

 Risks associated with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (aka SIDS) have led to a general belief that allowing an infant to share the bed with the mother is dangerous, but studies have shown that with the proper guidelines in place, this component of attachment parenting actually increases the bond between the mother/child, encourages longer breastfeeding and contributes to higher self-esteem in children later in life.

 The choice is always yours to make – should you choose to share your bed with your infant, there are a few things you should take into consideration:

•      Infants should sleep next to their mothers only, between her and a guard to the side of the bed.  Never allow an infant to sleep between parents.
•      If the parent is under the influence of drugs, alcohol or otherwise impaired, it is not wise to share the bed with an infant as this may affect your ability to judge where the infant is in relation to you.
•       Be sure that the infant is on a flat surface, away from any cracks, gaps or objects that could smother them. This includes heavy covers such as comforters or duvets, pillows and the space between a headboard and the mattress.
•      A basket or bassinet that is within arms reach of the bed may be a better solution than allowing a infant to sleep next to you.
•       If you feel uncomfortable or stressed about having an infant in your bed, listen to your intuition.

 The proximity of a mother to her child may help the infants immature nervous system self-regulate during sleep. The infant will adjust to the mothers breathing patterns and heart rate, and enjoy a sense of comfort and knowledge that they are not alone.  The mother will enjoy an increased sensitivity to her infants presence, and become more attuned to her child in both needs and routines. If there is a breastfeeding relationship, evidence shows that co-sleeping babies will breastfeed twice as long as babies who do not co-sleep.

 The choice to co-sleep and/or share your bed with your infant can be fuelled by many scenarios, including:

·         A willingness to accept the child’s need for the parent both day and night, and the parent’s need for rest in order to support the child.

·         An infant who demands constant attention and love, and dislikes not being close to a family member (ie: being held, soothed, fed or rocked).

Millions of parents sleep safely with their children every year.  In Asia, where bed-sharing is a cultural norm in the first years of life, the parental population enjoys the lowest rate of SIDS worldwide. There is no evidence to suggest that bed-sharing,  under the proper methods and indications, is any more dangerous than putting an infant to sleep in a crib or bassinet/cradle.

There is also a fear that co-sleeping will undermine efforts to encourage early independence. For many families, the choice between comforting a distressed newborn through closeness and familiarity and teaching an infant to fall asleep on their own is not even an option, especially in shared households with other young children, or even other sleeping adults. Bed-sharing has not been shown to increase dependency on the parent – and has even been proven to foster higher self-esteem in children later in life. This can be attributed to the comfort experienced by a child who knows that they are not alone and will be tended to promptly.

An important note concerning SIDS: 

 It is important to recognize that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is not the same as asphyxiation from a blocked airway.  There is a tendency to attach a diagnosis of suffocation or asphyxia to these cases, however there may be no evidence to confirm that the above did in fact occur. SIDS refers to an infant who suddenly stops breathing for no known reason – and in a co-sleeping relationship, the mother is typically close enough to the infant to become aware of the issue and encourage breathing faster than in a situation where the infant is on the opposite side of the room or in another room altogether.  Only 18% of SIDS cases in Quebec between 1991-2000 were found to have been in unsafe sleeping conditions, with asphyxia or suffocation as the cause.

 REMEMBER:

·         FLAT surfaces with no pillows, gaps or heavy coverings.

·         BACK to sleep, in any situation.  Infants should always be placed on their backs to sleep initially (they may roll or move during the sleep session).

·         MOMS only for bed-sharing.  Only mom has the intuition and awareness of baby’s location.

·         SOBER sleeping only – never sleep with an infant if you are impaired by any method.

The Baby-Wearing Daddy June 16, 2013

 HAPPY FATHERS DAY! Yes, even if you are a dad-to-be, you still deserve recognition on this day. It takes a lot to be a daddy – and for this mornings post I had the chance to interview one of my good friends, and fellow father, Xavier Knoxx.  3 years ago, he became a daddy to a beautiful little girl, and entered into a world that was ultimately scary and unfamiliar – but he charged ahead and I can honestly say that little girl has one amazing Daddy (not the best Daddy, of course, that’s a title I have to reserve for my own Daddy!)

  Xavier was happy to chat with me about his experiences with baby-wearing, which was really insightful and opened my eyes again to the male experience in newborn/infant care.

NAM: Was it your choice to try baby-wearing, or did your partner make you do it?

Xavier: I used it by my own choice. Having seen them before, I felt it would be a good item to help in day-to-day activities. 

NAM: Did you get any comments from the general public?

Xavier: Not really. Just weird looks, mainly from the older generation mainly.

NAM: What was your favourite part about using a baby carrier?

Xavier: Being able to keep my hands free. At first, I didn’t feel comfortable holding an infant. I didn’t really have much experience holding a child until mine was born, and it helped build my comfort level to hold her without fear of dropping her and making baby go splat.

NAM: lol

Xavier: yea, you can edit that last one if you want.

NAM: Is there anything you did with the carrier that made life easier than if you had used the stroller?

Xavier: Grocery shopping. Light housework. Mostly, I used it in public to avoid using the stroller which can be really awkward to get in and out of a car.

NAM: and a stroller probably feels very “daddy-like” to push, right?

Xavier: Yeah. Men like things with wheels. When I did use the stroller in public, I’d sometimes make car sounds to entertain her.

NAM: hahaha.  So, you’d recommend babywearing to other guys?

Xavier: I’m a dork sometimes. But definitely, especially for those who have limited experience holding an infant. It’s a pretty intimidating thing to do. I was so worried I would hurt her but doing this allowed me to build my comfort level.

NAM: Thanks so much for chatting with me!

Xavier: No problem!

 So, as you can see, the benefits to baby-wearing for Dad are pretty high and awesome. For one thing, you guys have a much better torso structure for the carriers, especially when baby is bigger.  Using a carrier to wear your baby means you can do lots of cool things that you already do – like mowing the lawn, going to the car show, and washing your own car. Plus, that darn stroller can stay in the car since we all know that guys don’t typically have bags and purses to stow in the stroller anyway!

 So mom, if you’re looking for an awesome fathers day gift for the dad-to-be in your life, invest in a baby carrier or sling! He’ll love you for it!

 *If you’re in the Halifax area, check out my Doula4Dads workshop which has an entire section devoted to the art of baby-wearing!*